Must Have Conversations

Having a baby is a huge life change and will forever change your relationship and daily routine. This comment may not apply to the filthy rich who hire nannies to tend their children. If you are not in the upper echelon and will be the primary care taker of your children this article is just for you so listen up.

Now is the time to start having many conversations with your spouse/significant other. Intimacy, money, balance of quality time with as a family, with your spouse and the baby are all huge topics and can alter your relationship with your spouse if not managed.

While pregnant you will both hear about how a baby will change your relationship and you are both should be expecting the change. I really do not believe that the men truly understand the changes that are going to occur until they have arrived; the baby is home from the hospital and Mommies is beat from tending to the baby and the change in hormones have kicked in. Start talking about this issue now, this is not a onetime conversation that nips this in the bud. This is an ongoing conversation before and after the baby has arrived. Do not be blindsided by the changes that are to come and do not dismiss the issue as if it would not pertain to you.

WAHM, SAHM or WM, where would you fit in? What are your plans for child care after you BOJ (bundle of joy) have arrived? Can you afford to be a stay at home, if so for how long? What are you willing to sacrifice? If you plan to be a working Mommie you need to discuss the cost of the child care. Being able to be a SAHM while your children are young is a wonderful opportunity that should not be missed if you have the option. If being a SAHM means sacrificing on material goods it is so worth it. This time with your child is irreplaceable.
The beloved in-laws (if you must insert inhale or sigh here). Will they be visiting immediately after your BOJ arrives? How long will they be staying? Which set of parents or family are arriving first? Stretch out their visits so the Mommie and Daddie can receive as much help as possible.

Please inform the in-laws before they arrive that visiting after the baby is not a spectator event. Your guest are there to pass along plenty of love and well wishes to you and the baby, but helping out is a must. Mommie should be resting and healing. Your BOJ should be resting from the journey as well. While Mommie and baby are resting someone need to continue with the daily household need, guess who…..*drum roll please…..daddy and guest/in-laws.

You may also want to have a conversation with the in-laws about over stepping their boundaries as grandparents. If you need help you will ask for help, you do not need their step by step instructions on how to care for your baby. If relations are tense maybe the Mommie should be responsible for informing her parents and Daddie should be responsible for informing his parents. Once the guest arrives its daddie’s job to make sure Mommie is stress free.