Daughter’s Relaxation
Many women of color are now abandoning the perm and going natural, as it is in style now. For many women this may be a long term decision to abandon the lye for good.
Hundreds of women of color have been scolded by the perm, burnt ears, neck and scalp, hair loss, hair damage and so on. Yet many women of color are hesitant to abandon the relaxer due to convenience and managing our natural hair.
Styling your daughter’s hair may be time consuming for any Mom. Styling hair in the morning, can be particularly stressful if you are trying to get your children cleaned up, dressed, fed and out the door for school. This task becomes more daunting and challenging for mother’s with children that has thick and coarse hair. A relaxer is an easy fix to managing black hair and significantly decreases the amount of time required on hair styling. Is the relaxer necessarily the best fix or just a solution of convenience? Who is to decide what is best?
As we become more conscience of our bodies and health most people are choosing a natural alternative in many avenues in life include makeup, hair products and hair treatments.
So what are your plans for managing your daughter’s hair? Do you plan to apply a relaxer to you daughter’s hair? If so at what age?
[polldaddy poll="2154652"]
I personally witness the amount of time it takes my wife to style our daughter’s hair in the morning and I immediately thank the heavens that I don’t have that job.
I grew up in a household of 2 women and have seen countless burnt ears/darkend neck lines/and neck scars as a result of hot combs/perms.
I will refuse to allow my daughter to have any chemicals placed in her hair. What ever hair type she is blessed with is what we will have to manage and style as cutely as possible.
I am not a fan of perms and relaxers and I personally love my wife’s natural hair. Although her hair sheds in the shower, but that beats the chemical smell I would have to endure as we cuddle going to bed and watching movies…
Minus medical needs, ladies please do not continue to torture your hair/neck/ears……Go natural!
Kindest regards -
Return of the “Fist-Pick” Aiden
When I made the decision to go natural about 4 years ago, the transition process at times made me want to rush to the salon for a perm fix..These years later I am glad to have resisted the urge. Although the amount of work required to maintain natural hair is a job in itself I would never perm my hair again and always encourage others to make the change. I totally don’t agree with individuals that perm children’s hair, especially when you see their edges all broken off. I think as a parent MAKING the time to do hair is a part of the territory and perming their hair at a young age is not ideal but more of a selfish move.
This is not my first time going natural. About 11 years ago I cut out all my perm and was left with about an inch of hair, I thought it looked great and would be easy to maintain, boy was I wrong. I was pregnant and nappy, and after 1 short year I went back to a perm, which I quickly regretted, but I dealt with it for about eight years. Then my daughter was born, and I began wanting to see my curls again. Knowing full well I was not going to perm my daughter’s hair I decided to transition back to my natural hair. YES it is HARD, but well WORTH IT. She and I have the same hair type, very very very tight curls, so I have to handle with care.
To all the Mothers out there trying to keep their daughters hair natural…Stay Encouraged, being natural is not easy but WORTH IT!
I relaxed my hair as an adult-and I love it. That being said, I would never take liberties with my daughter’s hair; she is also free to make that decision as an adult.
The hair politics thing is something I try to stray away from because it puts an unnecessary (to me) burden on aesthetic choice. I appreciate the author’s reference to natural hair as being “in style now.” While for some it is a political statement for others, it really is just a hasirstyle.
As an adult, I went natural because 1) I had no idea what my natural hair looked like (thanks to someone thinking they were doing my mom a favor by perming my hair while I was in their care at the age of 5 or 6), and 2) I saw so many women doing so much with natural hair. I absolutely love my hair, I get bored with it at times, but I love that I don’t feel I’m a slave to a box of chemicals…I don’t miss the scabs, I don’t miss patting my head b/c I’m trying not to scratch, and I don’t miss the hours in the salon waiting to be put in a chair. As for my daughter, besides the cultural reasons I want to keep her hair natural, at the end of the day, I feel every girl should be given a clean slate to work with. When it’s her turn to take the reigns and start doing her own hair and adding her own style to her tresses, I don’t want her to have to go back and undo something I did to make it “easier” for me to keep her together. I want her to have a head full of healthy, natural, untainted hair. Plus, I love the lesson she’s getting early on – to first love herself as God made her, then if she decides to enhance that, she has the right to. I don’t knock anyone else for their choices, but what I would like is for us to stop speaking so negatively to our children about their hair…you don’t realize what those messages “your hair is too nappy”, “you have that real black hair” and the idea of “good hair”, it’s damaging to our self image. Healthy hair = Good hair.
I will not relax my daughter’s hair for my convenience. I’ll let her choose when she is older.